Author: Nancy (Page 18 of 23)

The Stress Release Champion

The most powerful way to take the overwhelming charge out of stress and intense emotions, so that you can be present with them in healthy ways, is also one of the most overlooked. It works within minutes. It doesn’t have any side effects; by contrast, it actually has side benefits. Have you guessed what it is yet? Breathing!

This stress release champion probably tops the list of amazing things the majority of us take for granted, although fewer people are doing so now than ever before in our world history. And some are suggesting that specific variations of it can even support and quicken the healing process for people who have Covid 19.

Of course, you already breathe without having to think about it. But automatic, shallow chest-breathing to sustain life is very different from purposeful breathing, to enhance it on every level.

At times of great stress, we tend to take in even less oxygen, since we tense up, constricting the flow of oxygen into and through our bodies. This leads to feeling more anxious, and tensing up even more when what we need is the opposite.

If you don’t already practice breathing exercises, also known as breath work and pranayama, on a regular basis, I can’t think of a better time to begin. Once the practice becomes habitual, even your automatic breathing will become fuller and deeper.

Why is that important? 

For starters, it will vastly improve your physical health. If your body is subsisting on bare-minimum breathing, it is starving for much bigger doses of fresh oxygen.

You can use your breath to improve your nervous and immune systems, strengthen and heal your lungs and other organs, balance the hemispheres of your brain, detox and so much more.

In case stronger immunity and better physical health somehow isn’t strong enough incentive in these times, you can also use your breath to release anxiety and stress from your body, relax and feel calm, release trauma, raise your vibration, release emotional blocks and negative beliefs, improve focus, recharge energetically and feel more peace and joy.

Your breath can also be the basis of a meditation practice and serve as a mindfulness tool.

Different techniques produce different results but all of these benefits and more are possible for all. You can practice any time, and don’t don’t have to leave home or involve another human being to do so. Breath work does not cost anything. There are no side effects, hangovers, withdrawal symptoms or risks for overdose.

So if you are able to take a big drink of refreshing oxygen into your lungs right now, I encourage you to do so now, with gratitude for this miraculous gift. And then take a few big breaths for those who can’t right now; in your imagination, you can even send that vibrant, healing inhale directly to anyone who needs it.

Belly Breathing

If you are new to breath work, belly breathing, or diaphragmatic breathing, is a great place to start. As the name suggests, it involves breathing slowly and deeply from your belly instead of your chest. This sends a signal to your brain that it’s safe to calm down. You can place your hand over your belly while you’re new to this technique; your abdomen will expand like a balloon on the inhale. Reverse on the exhale while gently pressing your belly toward your spine. This breath is traditionally done through your nose. Variations, which also include holding your breath for specific counts, can be found online.

Breath Of Fire

Another great technique to incorporate into your daily practice, especially now, is called breath of fire. This one releases toxins and deposits from the lungs, mucous linings, blood vessels, and other cells. It expands your lung capacity, strengthens your nervous system, delivers oxygen to the brain, boosts immunity and reduces addictive impulses. It’s not recommended to practice this one while pregnant, or with a few other conditions that any reputable site teaching the breath will list.

Clear Your Traffic

If you’re interested in learning these breaths and several more, including the incredibly healing and transformational ones I am learning from my teacher, Dr. Sue Morter, I am teaching them in one-time 1×1 sessions and will soon be doing so on Zoom calls. Reach out for more info! 516-526-8455

To read more about the importance of feeling your emotions:

Give Your Fear A Voice

Less Doing, More Being

Have you been judging yourself for not doing more during this involuntary world timeout? This has been a common theme for many I’ve spoken with this week, as a society used to doing is having a collective identity crisis.

A friend berated himself for not beginning virtual piano lessons. A family member did the same for not cleaning out closets. A coaching client was angry with herself for not following through on a creative idea. They didn’t actually want to do these things; they felt like they should. Why? Because they have more time.

What if that time wasn’t designed for more doing? What if that time was a gift that could be best utilized for something more productive than producing?

Having grown up in families and societies that value doing at the expense of being, some people have a very difficult time slowing down. Doing has been woven into our inner fabric; what we do has become synonymous with who we are. 

But we are being called to learn who we are underneath the externals that we identify with, and in some cases, even base our  entire identities upon. 

Being forced to release some of the externals of our lives, at least temporarily, can feel like a major crisis. Hence the term “identity crisis.” Who are we if we are not our careers, or some of the other activities and roles we have based our self-worth upon? 

You Are Not What You Do

Who you are, at the core of your being, has nothing to do with what you do. And when you can’t do the things you think you’re supposed to, or fulfill the roles you have built your identity around, something pretty magical can happen: you can learn who you really are.  

While growing up, many of us learned to produce in order to be of value, and had to create false identities to be approved of or feel loved. It wasn’t safe to be us, with our preferences and emotions; people got angry with us for that. If we got positive feedback for doing, and for playing roles our source figures encouraged and even demanded, these roles became entwined with who we believed ourselves to be.

If you’re a caretaker, for example, either professionally, personally or both, you likely got positive feedback for those behaviors growing up, and/or got punished for moments of “selfishness.” Who are you today if you’re not helping someone? 

Let me let you in on a little secret: you are enough, just as who you are, without any of that doing. This is a perfect time to learn that, as uncomfortable as that process may be. 

A few years ago, life forced me to release just about everything I identified with externally; layer by layer. Every role I identified with and every way of life collapsed, one at a time, like dominoes. It was an extremely painful time of my life for many reasons, but looking back, I can see the common denominator behind all the challenges: I had to learn who I was without any of the externals I had built my identity and life around.

In the process, I found out who I really am. Today, I wouldn’t trade that for anything. I can create externals again; we all can, and we will. But we’ll do so as our true selves. Please don’t miss this opportunity to find out who that is. You’ll understand why when you do it, because you will find out how truly amazing you are. 

Clear Your Traffic: 

If you’re ready to start that discovery, you can start by doing a little less. If something doesn’t feel good and it’s optional, what would happen if you simply don’t do it right this very minute? 

What if you didn’t clean that closet, learn the piano, take action on an idea or (fill in the blank for you)?

Our entire world has slowed down, and if you find yourself with more time, what would it be like not to have to “kill it,” as another family member expressed today.

Why kill time? It’s a gift. Use it to find out who you are. 

If you don’t do something you feel like you should, what feelings come up? What beliefs about yourself, or about life?

If you’re not yet convinced that you’re not what you do, think back ten years ago, then twenty, and then even further back through the eras of your life. Did you do the same things you’re doing now? Did you engage in different hobbies or activities? Did you have different people in your life? No matter the externals, you were still you. 

If the idea of not doing at all times scares you, don’t worry – you will get everything done that you need to, at exactly the right time. And once you have your own approval, regardless of what you do or don’t do, you‘ll learn to trade in those roles that haven’t been  working for you – you know, the ones that were sucking the very life out of you – for ones that feel really good. 

If you give yourself permission to just “be” more during this timeout, you’re going to cultivate the version of you that will prepare you for the greatest role of your life – one you actually want to play.

Our emerging world is going to need people who know who they truly are paving the way. You deserve to be one of them! 

Be present and compassionate as this false self begins to release. It can be an uncomfortable process. If you want to schedule a session around that, to learn some ways to make it easier, I’m here for you! 

If you’ve recently subscribed to Love Without Traffic, please do so again (box to the right or underneath this post). I was experiencing tech issues due to increased volume and can’t view the 70+ people who subscribed last week! This is why I have not been in touch about the complimentary group coaching session. I have a new subscription box up until I can get tech support. Hopefully, this one will work! Please fill out a contact from below if you encounter challenges or don’t hear from me soon. 

With so much love,

Nancy

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