Gifts of Grief

Like a tall mountain range, grief has many different altitudes and landscapes, each with their own capacity for what can grow in any give spot. Hiking the trails of bereavement with our minds is painful, but embodiment allows us to experience all the peaks and valleys that lead to the gifts of grief.

Being without those you have loved the most in this world can be extremely painful, and often excruciating on holidays like Mother’s Day. When you’ve embodied enough of your grief, however, the trail can lead somewhere super special. That’s when you can receive and recognize the gifts of grief.

I know that’s hard to imagine if someone you cherish has recently passed, and you feel like you will never again feel anything but intense sorrow and other heavy emotions.  It can also be hard to experience or even conceptualize gifts of grief if your mind has been holding on to the painful aspects of grief thinking if you don’t, you are letting go of your loved one.

That couldn’t be further from the truth; for surrendering what was, including our pain, allows us to experience those who have passed to life into life in new ways.

Mother’s Day Magic
Instead of sulking through my third Mother’s Day without my mom here in the physical world, I allowed myself to be guided to a special garden she would have loved. As I often do when I notice people taking selfies, I offered to take photos for several people, including a mom/adult daughter duo.
They showed me one of the shots I’d taken in front of a beautiful flower-surrounded fountain. They gushed with gratitude that it was their favorite photo that has ever been taken of them. After not having seen one another since autumn, it was a very heartfelt reunion and they shared I had made their day that much more special. Clearly, I was an angel sent by God.

I’m not sure that I would have gone that far, but even I was surprised by how gorgeous the photo was. You could feel the love jumping right off the phone. Instead of getting triggered by how happy they were together, and how I wanted to be sharing the day with my own mom, I basked in their bond and happiness.

We exchanged stories about their relationship and the one I shared with my mom, who, I felt there for every moment. They did also. The more we conversed, the more special synchronicities occurred. We were all in complete awe. By the time I walked away, I did so with a very full heart.

I shared the story on Facebook that night, and expressed how grateful I am that while of course I deeply miss my mom being here where I can hug her and hear her laughter, I can once again celebrate Mother’s Day with joy in my heart.
Embodying Grief
Yesterday, I began to blog about the experience. On the lengthier platform here, I wrote more about embodiment and how it leads to the gifts of grief. A very rare bout of writer’s block struck midway through. As someone who doesn’t force things, I paused the story and went for a hike. I knew exactly where to go.
Upon arriving at the special waterfall that I mentioned in my last post, I marveled at the fact that I had it all to myself. I did what I hadn’t done a few days prior when my mom had sent multiple nudges: I sat down to have a conversation with her.

As I did, I realized why I hadn’t done that in a while, and why I hadn’t been able to complete my blog post. I couldn’t write about embodying grief until I had done more of that myself.Yes, I’d come a very long way in my grieving. Thinking of her no longer triggered deep sadness, but instead, sparked sense of very deep love and gratitude for our ongoing connection. I had developed a special life after life relationship with her and received awe-inspiring signs from her on a very regular basis.

What I hadn’t yet embodied were unresolved emotions from our actual life together, particularly the period just prior to her passing – unresolved feelings I was unaware I was still carrying in my body.

Unlike the many times those emotions had surfaced, only to get got pushed back down, this time I was ready. I knew exactly what I needed to do to embody them!

Today, I am marinating in the glorious love and healing that I experienced last night after doing so, along with the profound sign I received from my mom directly afterwards.

But after I complete my series about Dr. Sue Morter’s alumni retreat and the rest of my miraculous Costa Rican adventure, I’ll share the story. I’ll also take you on a step-by-step journey to embody your own grief (and other types of painful experiences and emotions).

Unless you are already an embodied master who lives in perfect harmony with all past experiences and absolutely everything life presents, you don’t want to miss this one! 🙂 Drop your email in the blue Be In The Loop box (scroll down).

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Part One of my miraculous story about Dr. Sue Morter’s Retreat: Dr. Sue Morter’s Retreat (Part One) ~ LOVE WITHOUT TRAFFIC