Tag: relationships (Page 2 of 3)

Dolphins Love Self-Love


Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, but whether single or happily partnered, there are gifts no one else can give you but yourself – and maybe some dolphins. Self-care is one of the greatest. 

I’d fallen into an uncharacteristic stretch of nose to the grindstone-ing while working on a fun project. While that initially involved much creative excitement, it didn’t take long for me to crash from the lack of self-care.

Thankfully, I caught myself in the early stages of burnout, and went directly to the beach for sunset yoga.

Feeling more balanced within minutes, I noticed people taking photos by the shoreline. Hardly an uncommon site on the beach voted 2021’s best in the US (St. Pete Beach), I thought nothing of it until I realized they weren’t taking pre-sunset photos. They were filming something.

I watched the water for a few minutes before confirming my subject suspicion: dolphins! I’m a dolphin magnet, but it never gets less exciting to experience them. Dolphins are very high frequency beings, and the more open your heart is, the more you can feel the love they pour into you while interacting with them. 

Ecstatic to be doubly rewarded for my choice to gift myself self-care, I waded into the water to get a closer view. Then they came closer, to get a closer view of me – and the fish they were chasing. 

Eventually, they came so close, they were fishing right in the waves breaking along the shoreline! That, I’d never seen.

One dove right in front of me, soaking me with the splash! I’m sure I ended up in quite a few tourist videos.


It was an amazing experience and also a great message from the dolphin. It was my cue to put down my wet phone and be present for the rest of the encounter.

Not long after sunset, a young man jumped into the ocean, swimming aggressively in a manner the dolphins wanted no part of. They swam away.

Once the rest of us collected our jaws off the sand and regained our ability to speak, we bonded about the magical event we’d just witnessed and been part of.

I will post some of my pre-soakage footage later on the Love Without Traffic Instagram and Facebook pages.

Clear Your Traffic:

What type of self-care can you gift yourself this Valentine’s weekend?

What do you love to do?

Where do you love to go?

Even if Valentine’s Day isn’t your thing, or you are happily partnered with great plans, do something just for you this weekend. 

I’d love to hear what it is! Maybe your plan will spark an idea for someone else. 

 

Stop Narcattacks In Their Tracks

How do you respond when a narcissist or other angry person assaults you with judgement, blame, criticisms and accusations? Most partners of narcissists unknowingly react in ways that invite even more narcissistic abuse. What if there was a better way to respond – one with the potential to stop the attack in its tracks? 

Most people react to narcattacks in one of two ways: by defending themselves or fighting back. Neither strategy is effective.

A self-appointed Jury Of One narcissist will always find you guilty, no matter what evidence you present to the contrary. The more you defend yourself, the more you’ll be accused of!

If you fight back, you give the narcissistic a hit of “supply” – the energy that they unconsciously seek when they attack.

Watching you come undone reinforces their false sense of power, and invites more of the behavior your are defending against and fighting. 

So what’s the best way to respond? 

When you find yourself about to defend yourself or fight back (or as soon as you catch yourself), respond in a new way.

Some of the ones that have worked best for me and my clients have been statements that honored the way the narcissist was feeling but disagreed with their judgement/criticism/accusation etc. Do so with as little emotion as possible. The drier your delivery, the better this will work. Save the emotion for people who can support you with it.

Here are some examples:

“Thank you for letting me know how you see me/this situation and feel.”
“I don’t share your opinion of me, but I understand that if I was you, I might see me that way also.”

 

“You are free to see me (and/or my actions) however you want.”“I don’t see myself that way, but it’s okay that you do.”

“I wish this didn’t feel painful for you but I stand by my choice.”

“I understand that you see me (or what was said/done) this way but I don’t.”

“I know you think I”m ____, but I know who I am.”
It’s also okay to say absolutely nothing in response! Just don’t defend yourself or fight back. Both reactions drain you and invite the next #narcattack. 

After diffusing the narcattack, take some time to process your feelings. Share them with a friend, coach or support group. Journal. Breathe. Be there for you.
Just don’t expect your narcissist to be there for you – they can’t. 

For more on narcattacks and the next tip, subscribe to the blog, follow @Stop Dating Narcissists on Instagram and Facebook and check out my last post:

5 Ways To Identify A Narcissist

« Older posts Newer posts »

© 2025

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑