emotional abuse

I have been social distancing myself on the beach for decades – the only sounds I like to hear are the ocean and seagulls. I was far from all humans while doing an immune system-boosting Kundalini class this evening, when I heard someone call out a dolphin alert.

The dolphins were so close to the beach, it seemed impossible that the water could have been deep enough for them. I could have touched one of them and I was super close to the shoreline. I almost couldn’t believe my eyes.

When they swam off, the young adults who had brought the dolphins to my attention began to walk away and I called out a thank you. They walked over to speak about what had just occurred. We were all amazed the dolphins had been swimming in water that was not even up to our knees; it almost seemed like a collective hallucination.

Unlike the spring breakers I witnessed yesterday, who acted as though they’d never heard of any type of corona outside the beer, this group of college students and recent graduates was very evolved.

We shared a beautiful, authentic and inspiring conversation – the type that sends feel-good, health-enhancing hormones rushing through your system.

Normally, I would have hugged each and every one of them. Hugging produces oxytocin, which reduces stress and in turn boosts your immune system. But while I believe in the power of my immune system, I am taking precautions for those around me, since we can be carriers and not even know it. So instead of hugging, I put my hands over my heart and sent them love.

Like dolphins, humans need connection, so make sure you’re getting that in other ways if you are self-isolating or under mandatory quarantine. And if you feel like you need a good dose of oxytocin, or just want to self-comfort, you can put your hands over your heart and breathe. It feels like a hug and offers that sense of comfort your favorite stuffed animal or blankie did while hugged against your chest as a child.

Or last week. Hey, comfort is comfort.

Placing my hands over my heart is one of my go-to’s when I feel emotionally vulnerable, and also something I recommend to clients who are experiencing anxiety.

Keeping them there for a few minutes and applying some gentle pressure while doing some slow, deep belly breathing works every time.

With love,
Nancy

The challenges faced in narcissistic and otherwise abusive relationships can serve as doorways to transformation. Before we can step through them, we have to stop choosing to participate in victim roles, and then be willing to see beyond the very convincing veil of victim consciousness altogether.

On September 5th, I will be featured as an expert speaker on the Emotional Abuse Recovery & Resilience Summit, something I couldn’t even have imagined while giving all my power to my victim roles and stories. But even while I was in the most painful phases of my personal hell, part of me knew I’d help others through someday.

My talk will be about reclaiming personal power from codependency, the magnet that attracts and the glue that perpetuates abusive relationships. It will teach how to:

~stop people-pleasing

~feel your emotions instead of attempting to avoid them and self-medicating

~quiet your critical voice and turn the volume up on your inner advocate

~stop blaming others for your unhappiness and learn how to command it without needing anyone else to change

~stop wasting your energy trying to make others behave the way you want them to (and stop behaving the ways you can’t handle)

~stop enabling others and take responsibility for yourself

~set and enforce healthy boundaries

~say no so you can say yes to what you want

~assertively express yourself instead of expecting others to read your mind or holding in your feelings until you explode

~let go of guilt

~honor your own needs, feelings and opinions instead of making everyone else’s more important and resenting them for it

~stop overextending and depleting yourself and learn how to give from heart

~learn why you don’t actually help someone else when giving is coming from a place of depletion or obligation

~release people, situations and environments that feel unhealthy, in a way that doesn’t attract the same issues in different forms

I’m excited to share how to do this with those who check out this life-changing summit. It will be filled with great speakers and information!

BLOG UPDATE

Thank you to all who have been inquiring about the blog. I have removed my previous posts because I’ve needed to take this next phase of my healing journey without an audience. Thank you to all who were here with me for that journey. I never would have made it through that if I hadn’t been healing out loud with all of you. Thank you SO much for all your love and support.

When the time is right, I’ll resume writing on the site to educate readers about narcissism, narcissistic abuse and recovery.

NOVEL UPDATE

Thank you to everyone who helped me name the novel and have been waiting patiently for me to publish it. I will, but not until I’m ready. This next phase of my journey is going to be out of the public eye, as it is a personal season for introspection and healing. I couldn’t love the title Love Without Traffic more and I know that book will change lives someday. In the meantime…join me for the summit!!

SUMMIT LINK

https://tinyurl.com/coachnancysummit

See you soon!

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