Category: Grief (Page 2 of 2)

If you are missing someone who has passed on this holiday season, keep your eyes and other senses open for signs. Loved ones who are no longer “with us” often find ways to let us know that they are still very much by our sides. It’s up to us to notice, and receive the signs instead of looking for more plausible explanations.

I wasn’t at all sure I believed in life outside the physical body when my dad passed in 1996, but the otherwise inexplicable signs that followed his passing shattered my previous belief system.

Several years and countless signs later, I tried to rid a room of white lilies, which reminded me of his wake and funeral and seemed to show up often, in a lot of random places. A medium informed me that the flowers I kept pushing away were my father’s favorite way to let me know he was with me, and that I was on the right path. 

Despite having opened to signs, I was skeptical about this one. But sure enough, those lilies showed up, in one way or another, every time I was on a live-in coaching job, helping someone break free from an addiction, including an abusive relationship. They showed up every time I needed hope and every time I made a choice, or was close to making one, that scared me. 

They helped me make one of the most important decisions of my life this past April. My heart wanted to rent a car and drive from southwest Florida to New York to see my mom, who had spent most of the year on lockdown in her assisted living center, and had recently been in the hospital. My mind protested with an abundance of reasons why it was not the right time for this adventure.

For starters, I was terrified of making the long drive by myself, as someone who doesn’t like to drive more than a few hours in a day. I didn’t know where I was going to stay once I got to New York. Frankly, it seemed like a crazy thing to do, even for somoene who specializes in that.

As with many lofty goals, I was able to break the trip down into steps, which made them feel less overwhelming. The first one would be to visit my friend Judy in St. Augustine. If it felt right to keep going, I’d head to Savannah and take it from there. At any time, I could turn around and wait for a traveling companion or at least a petsitting opportunity or other place to stay in New York.

Judy, who I’d only met the previous month, was a gracious host. She took me to the Lightner museum, where we enjoyed a wonderful day. We left through a side door, where I encountered the largest display of white lilies I’d ever seen. 

The Mom Mission was on! I never looked back after getting that sign. 

Not only did the drive to New York turn into an amazing 12-day adventure, where I began virtual readings for Love Without Traffic (the novel I am currently formatting and will finally publish early next year), but it also became one of the best choices I’ve ever made. 

As I shared in my last post, my mom passed on into life after life in August. Had I not gone when I did, I would have missed out on the opportunity to share the last few months of her life with her. I’d only planned to go for a week or so, but I received an invitation to pet sit just after crossing into VIrginia. The house turned out to be a beautiful mansion overlooking Long Island Sound. It was very close to my mom’s center and Archie the cat and Dolly the dog became instafriends. 

I ended up staying there for the better part of six months, which allowed me to also grieve with my loved ones and celebrate my mom’s life and birthday with my family and her angel aide Cynthia.

Before I set off for Florida in November, I visited the cemetery. I wanted to leave something special at the gravesite but hadn’t planned to go, and hadn’t brought anything with me. I found two white lilies on the ground! And while searching the trunk for something else to leave, I came across a gigantic pine cone I’d found hiking the Blue Ridge Mountains, on the Mom Mission. I’d meant to give it to my mom, and had completely forgotten. 

Along with many tears, I left it, and the flowers, at my parents’ burial site. The next day, I returned to Florida – to a very different set of circumstances than expected – a story for another time. My grief hit me quite powerfully and I blocked signs for several weeks. Our loved ones are in a much higher vibrational frequency when they pass beyond the body, and it can be very difficult to experience them when we are shut down.

I finally began to feel more like myself after releasing the Longboat Key rental I’d been so excited to return to, but so challenged by. I stayed with amazing friends for a few days, and then on a beautiful boat built from scratch by other incredible friends – another story for soon. Then I found an unbelievable deal for a few nights at an oceanfront condo, where I watched the full moon rise over the water from my terrace, enjoyed wave lullabies as I went to sleep each night and awoke to gorgeous sunrises in bed. 

I couldn’t grasp that this adorable beach place, complete with a spacious living room and kitchen, was only $75 a night. After checking out on Monday, I decided to run back into the office to ask if the place had been a last minute cancellation, or how else I had gotten such an incredible deal. My answer sat waiting on the counter: a vibrant display of white lilies. 

My eyes began to tear up with joy when I noticed something even more special about this display. Tucked into the flowers were two pine cones!

As I went to post this story this morning, a car alarm began to sound, over and over. Why wasn’t someone doing something about that? When I finally went outside to check, I realized it was the car my nephew gave me when I got to New York, a car that had previously been my mom’s.

The car I’d had the alarm deactivated on many months ago.

Signs come in many interesting ways. I’d love to hear about your favorite signs! Feel free to comment or reach out on social media.

Wishing you all a healthy and magical Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza and any other holiday you might celebrate!