Author: Nancy (Page 8 of 23)

Dolphins Love Self-Love


Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, but whether single or happily partnered, there are gifts no one else can give you but yourself – and maybe some dolphins. Self-care is one of the greatest. 

I’d fallen into an uncharacteristic stretch of nose to the grindstone-ing while working on a fun project. While that initially involved much creative excitement, it didn’t take long for me to crash from the lack of self-care.

Thankfully, I caught myself in the early stages of burnout, and went directly to the beach for sunset yoga.

Feeling more balanced within minutes, I noticed people taking photos by the shoreline. Hardly an uncommon site on the beach voted 2021’s best in the US (St. Pete Beach), I thought nothing of it until I realized they weren’t taking pre-sunset photos. They were filming something.

I watched the water for a few minutes before confirming my subject suspicion: dolphins! I’m a dolphin magnet, but it never gets less exciting to experience them. Dolphins are very high frequency beings, and the more open your heart is, the more you can feel the love they pour into you while interacting with them. 

Ecstatic to be doubly rewarded for my choice to gift myself self-care, I waded into the water to get a closer view. Then they came closer, to get a closer view of me – and the fish they were chasing. 

Eventually, they came so close, they were fishing right in the waves breaking along the shoreline! That, I’d never seen.

One dove right in front of me, soaking me with the splash! I’m sure I ended up in quite a few tourist videos.


It was an amazing experience and also a great message from the dolphin. It was my cue to put down my wet phone and be present for the rest of the encounter.

Not long after sunset, a young man jumped into the ocean, swimming aggressively in a manner the dolphins wanted no part of. They swam away.

Once the rest of us collected our jaws off the sand and regained our ability to speak, we bonded about the magical event we’d just witnessed and been part of.

I will post some of my pre-soakage footage later on the Love Without Traffic Instagram and Facebook pages.

Clear Your Traffic:

What type of self-care can you gift yourself this Valentine’s weekend?

What do you love to do?

Where do you love to go?

Even if Valentine’s Day isn’t your thing, or you are happily partnered with great plans, do something just for you this weekend. 

I’d love to hear what it is! Maybe your plan will spark an idea for someone else. 

 

Mikaela’s Meltdown Medal

Did it break your heart to watch Mikaela Shiffrin disqualify herself again on the slopes last night? That didn’t break mine. Watching her sit on the snow next to the course, in a state of pained disbelief, didn’t bring me to my own tears, either. What did break my heart was watching her disqualify her actual life. 

Despite the much greater issues facing people in China and around the world, I feel deeply for Mikaela. But for different reasons than the NBC announcers and athletes taking to Twitter last night wanted me to.

I feel for her because she wasn’t allowed to sit with her feelings without cameras documenting her every tear, as people all over the world defined her by assuming we knew what she was thinking and feeling.

Anyone who has dealt with narcissistic abuse knows what it feels like to be defined, over and over, in ways that are usually very far from the mark. People with narcissistic personality disorder think they know what you think. How you feel. Why you do the things you do. Who you are. The defining is relentless.

But even those of us without NPD tend to think we know what others think and feel sometimes. In some cases, people we’ve never actually met – like Mikaela.

I applaud Mikaela Shiffrin for planting herself there in the snow, no matter how awkward or uncomfortable it made anyone else, and for not feeling the need to hide her disappointment under a fake smile. That was incredibly brave, and a gold medal in my book! 

I feel for Mikaela because of the amount of pressure placed upon her by our media. Didn’t Simone Biles teach them anything this summer?

I feel for her because she lost her dad suddenly, at a young age, and I know exactly how painful that can be. My own speculations were that this was playing a big role in her emotional avalanche last night, which she later attested to. Not being able to talk with him at her moment in need – I could have sat on that mountain for a year after my dad passed, grieving that ability for a face-to-face talk under much lesser triggers. 

I feel for her because emotional breakdowns are hard enough when you don’t have millions of eyes upon you. 

NBC clearly didn’t know what to do with her. A long side angle wasn’t enough. Quick! Someone get right in front of her and shove a camera directly in her face! No wait; that’s too awkward. Let’s go to a commercial. Crap; she’s still sitting there. What now? 

How about just stop treating her like a zoo animal for having emotions that felt bigger than she did, and focus on the athletes who are flying down the mountain? How about not dramatizing the fail for dollars, and instead showing her some human compassion?

Most of all, I feel for this young woman because she expressed that the mistakes made her question her last fifteen years. It seems inconceivable for a 26-year-old who has already won Olympic gold and an incredibly large collection of world championships. Who is filling her brain with the type of programming that would lead to such a catastrophic view? And who is supporting her through it? 

Two mistakes, which totaled only seconds of her life, do not wipe away all she’s worked for and achieved up until this moment.

Even more importantly, life can’t only be measured by external success. Mikaela’s life is not defined by her performances and if she believes it is, she is heading for an abundance of emotional wipeouts, regardless of what she does or doesn’t win in the future

This could be a defining point in her life – in such a good way – if someone helps her change the narrative.

She might learn just how amazing she is off the slopes, where it counts most.

We’re rooting for you, Mikaela Shiffrin! On and off the mountain. You should be incredibly proud of yourself for the medal you won last night that is much greater than gold – continuing to invite discussion on emotional health at the Games and beyond.

Clear Your Traffic:
Love Without Traffic, the novel, can help anyone struggling with overwhelming emotions or stuck in emotional congestion, through means of a love story. Insights and a variety of techniques that helped me are included in this book that traverses many subjects, including relationship challenges and loss, but just read as part of the story for those just looking for entertainment. It’s coming this March! Learn more: https://www.lovewithouttraffic.com/

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