Tag: life coach (Page 2 of 3)

It’s Okay To Ask For Help

With physical and emotional challenges alike, many of us are programmed to power through, instead of asking for help. Whether our resistance is due to a belief that needing help is a weakness or that we’ll burden the person we ask, stubborn determination to figure things out on our own, or any other reason we choose to struggle, it’s a limiting habit. I can think of no better time to break it.

I used to love to figure minor website tech stuff out on my own; successfully figuring out basic CSS code when this is not one of my skill sets provided a feeling of accomplishment. But people need emotional support now, not three years from now when my site looks the way I want it to. And while trying to correct minor glitches today, I created major ones. So I finally cried uncle.

Asking for help led to better results than I could have imagined. I learned that the subscriber plugin I spent three hours trying to fix was actually working – what wasn’t working was my subscriber welcome email. My list of 20 ways to stay calm and strengthen your immune system was quite possibly the driest and most verbose thing I’d ever written. If someone had sent that to me, I would have stopped reading after two sentences. Or syllables.

Many people have at least a little more time on their hands now and are happy to help. Some even have an abundance of time, and only lack a clue what to do with it. If you ask for help, you might serve them as much as yourself.

And if it’s emotional support you’re holding back from, please reach out. Now’s the time to drop our resistance and ask for whatever type of support we need.

If someone doesn’t have the time or energy to give it, they can say no. Most people want to help, especially now. And each of us is perfectly equipped to do that, in our own special ways.

Let’s give ourselves and one another that chance. Asking for help doesn’t make us weak; that’s an old belief that does not serve us. It’s actually one of the strongest and bravest, not to mention smartest, things we can do. 

 

 

Know When To Unplug

Knowing when it’s time to unplug is more important now than ever. Most of us are spending more time on screens and phones, and while that will keep us connected, overdoing it can make us feel more anxious, especially if all we’re focusing on is stressful topics.

When we can catch fear, overwhelm and other unpleasant emotions in their earliest stages, we can make a choice to stop what we’re doing, thinking or talking about before they pick up power. 

I have been experiencing some tech issues with my site, which has slowed the process of serving people in the ways I’ve been inspired to. Had I caught my frustration when it first began to call for my attention, I would have stopped what I was doing and regrouped in one of the gazillion ways I teach other people.

But since I know how many are struggling and want to help them as soon as possible, I tried to push through.

Hours later and no closer to the answers, my frustration had expanded into a host of other undesirable emotions, and some judgement toward myself, since I know so much better. I learned to stop beating myself up a long time ago so fortunately, when I heard the critical voice, it got my attention. I unplugged immediately and went to the beach to watch the sun set.

When we can catch ourselves going down rabbit holes of negative feelings, conversations or experiences, we get to choose again. When we don’t notice, the feelings get more powerful. One great way to become aware of how you’re feeling is to check in with yourself on a regular basis.You might ask other people how they’re feeling or doing. Do you think to ask yourself?

A few deep breaths of salt air later, I found myself laughing. Of course, I wasn’t meant to solve those tech challenges today. I had to have that experience, in order to think to share it to those who will read this now, before I connect with my tech answers. Surely, someone who already reads my blog will be glad I did.

When we’re in touch with our emotions, they tell us it’s time to take a break from what we are doing or thinking.

We also need to unplug when we are engaging in conversations that are bringing us down and are unnecessary, surfing our newsfeeds or doing anything else that is optional but draining.

I spoke with a cherished family member about that tonight. Just because someone sends you information or tries to engage in a fear and negativity-based discussion doesn’t mean you have to participate. It’s okay to unplug when you need to. You don’t owe anyone an explanation or apology for that.

You just owe yourself the opportunity to feel as good as possible right now. One, because you deserve to. And two, because you can’t be there for someone else in any sort of authentic way anyway if you are coming from depletion.

So, how are you feeling right now? Do you need to unplug? If so, start by getting off your phone or computer. That’s what I’m going to do right now. Goodnight.

 

 

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