WOULD YOU LET THE WHOLE WORLD READ
With a title for the novel declared, it was time to edit and self-publish. As I was getting close to the finish line, the process hit its own traffic jam: my focus came to a screeching halt when I fell wildly in love.
A few months into my new relationship, I found myself placing a call to a Domestic Violence Hotline. While journaling about the experience afterwards, I realized I was explaining things I already knew. What a strange thing to do in my own diary!
Later that night, it dawned on me that I had been writing for an audience. The idea of sharing something so personal, publicly, made sharing excerpts of my novel seem like child’s play, but posting what I’d written online was an idea that would not be denied.
At the risk of readers confusing my novel and my personal life, which read even more fictitiously, I put the post on this site. I knew I’d chicken out before the time it would take to create a new website.
I felt incredibly vulnerable after posting it, but nevertheless placed a link on my Facebook page. The response was overwhelming.
I was shocked by how many people I knew who had either gone through the experience of an emotionally abusive relationship, or were currently in one. A few asked me for advice, as if writing about my experience somehow made me an authority on the topic.
Before I could support anyone else, I would have to survive a heroine’s journey during which I got the personal equivalent of a doctorate degree in emotional, psychological and narcissistic abuse.
Please note that this education did not all come from the man who inspired my blog. In time, I’d come to realize that he actually came into my life to save it. While it felt differently at the time, he didn’t create the trauma I experienced. He just brought trauma that was already inside me to the surface, where it could be seen and healed.
The blog became a force, following me through plot twists that surprised even me and inspiring new ones. After the first year, I stopped posting, in part out of respect for my partner, in part because I needed to go through the next phase of our journey without an audience.
Without the opinions of others.
Without the observer effect.
I never stopped writing; I just did so privately. Those who are still wondering what happened after my last cliffhanger might be happy to learn I am in the process of turning the blog into my second book, incorporating psychology teachings, higher spiritual perspectives and healing techniques.
The book can help anyone experiencing similar challenges release the victim consciousness even the industry designed to help perpetuates. (As mentioned on the home page, the first time I called The Hotline, my advocate insisted I was a victim.)
The book can also help open people to the powerful lessons and opportunities for empowerment and transformation that experiences of emotional abuse contain, albeit in very great disguise.
It’s the book I couldn’t find when I was caught in the self-perpetuated hell of my own victim mindset. It’s a book that can not only vastly improve lives, but also save them.
To read the first post of the blog, which is now the start of the book, visit: http://www.lovewithouttraffic.com/denial/
To learn about the novel, which may read less fictitiously at times than the blog did, visit: http://www.lovewithouttraffic.com/novel/
To help me self publish both books, create an online course to help those struggling with narcissistic/emotional abuse and offer group coaching that can be financially accessible to all in need, not just those who can fund private coaching, donate through paypal here.
Let me know what you’d like support with.